Garden
                      Humour (Hortus facetiae). The aphids are coming,
                      the aphids are coming
    These contests were run in the early days of the internet, around the year 2000

    What treasures do you have in your garden?
    (the kind of non plant items that should you ever move house you could never leave behind)

    See drop down list for more compilations.

    1. Three nifty glass insulators from an old telephone post on my late Grandfather-in-law's farm. I thought they might be useful in case he tries to reach us. ~ Dibble
     2. One concrete garden gnome that stands beneath the crab apple, a gift from someone special who believes no garden is complete without one. ~ Shirl
     3. A huge chunk of root from an ancient cedar tree, a remnant of the giants that once grew around here. ~ Me
     3. The head of an ancient Greek goddess, pedigree unknown, cast in stone and mounted on a wooden block. She was an unsentimental gift to me on friends' moving day years ago when they ran out of room in their van. This semi-statue has been crated up and moved with me at least three times since then, always in a big sturdy box marked, "The Head." Today she sits in the corner of a garden patch amid ivy and wild ferns and keeps an eye on the rabbits. ~ Anna
     4. My Garden Gnome . . . a friend brought me back from France 3 years ago. It did not survive the trip and arrived shattered in several pieces. I super glued my little fellow and he has been hiding in my hostas ever since! He is weathered and not very attractive as far as most Garden Gnomes go, but he has held together through rain and storm..so he definitely comes with me! ~ Donna
     5. A very weathered chair. I use it to place potted plants on and around. The chair was in my family for a long time, but was really in need of repair. I liked the look of it and put it in my garden. Over the years it's been rained on and snowed on, but it gets better looking each and every year . . . turning from brown to gray! Its companion piece would be the multi-sectioned wood draw that a friend brought me from his mother's house . . . I place small herbs in the slots and stand it upright . . . it goes with the chair. ~ Donna
     6. My PROSPERITY stepping stone that sits between two "snow mounds". It brings a sense of peace to the garden in which it is laid . . . not quite zen . . . but definitely zen-like :-) ~ Donna
     7. Strange plants growing . . . I was trying to weed them out.  Found out they are very pretty Bell Flowers! ! Diane
     8. I have a pretty blue blown glass 'butterfly waterer' that I could never leave behind (and near which I have NEVER seen a butterfly!) It was a gift from my step-daughter of 42 years, who is one of my dearest friends. ~ Erly
     9. My auntie Pearl's tea kettle from the homestead in North Dakota. I found it a few years ago when I wandered the farm, no one has lived there since 1970, I asked my cousin if I could have it, he looked at me like I was daft and said "Go ahead" all the time I know he was thinking I was nutz. ~ Sue
     10. I have a bird bath that is visited each day by many small creatures. It would have to go with me even if I had to carry it on my back! ~ Jane
     11. I have a lovely mottled green bowling ball (masquerading as a gazing ball) in a gazing ball stand.  It is not reflective, but is so pleasing to my eye!!! It came from a friend's shed when we were clearing it out -- since I am
    a "green freak"  (any shade thereof), it had to come home with me -- not to bowl with, but to look at. I have never been sorry ! ! ! ~ Eleanor
     12. My wonderful statue of St. Francis of Assisi, always at my side. Also various pottery owls and birds I made years ago when I plied my trade as a potter. I'm no longer a potter, I'm just potted! ~ Ellen
     13. The terracotta mermaid. She hung on a trellis over the hot tub at my first house, here she is on a garden wall with a pot of blue lobelia blooming beneath her. It looks like she is rising out of the waves. ~ Karen
     14. My old broken shovel from my great grand father -- he died after the doctor told him not to work in the garden any more (damned Drs.) ~ Earl
     15. There are two things . . . both from my father-in-law, who passed away in February. I love my garden and all animals, and before he died. he went out of his way to make sure I had a St. Christopher Statue to sit under the plum tree.

    The other is a nice round rock that sits at the head of our waterfall. His mother used it many years ago to crush oyster shells for her chickens. Rocks are not natural to the beach areas in Delaware and Maryland, so rocks are a pricless commodity to pond builders and owners! ~ Lee

     16. A frog stepping stone that keeps disapearing as my plants expand so I must move it three times a year as it reminds me to cut back some of the plants before they turn into a forest! ~ Bob
     17. We would have to take Rover's grave marker.  He was the best mut a family could have.  Now he's buried six feet under. ~ Don
     18. I have insulators as well, however, I have a troll (not to be confused with an gnome) with a wolf skin tail holding a sign "pesticide free naturally". The troll was a gift in 1977 from a friend in Frobisher bay. The sign keeps getting stolen, but so far no one has thought to take the troll . . . could be cuz he is so freaky looking and has tiger eyes that watch you no matter where you go in the garden. ~ Noino
     19. The bird and squirrel feeders. Without the local wildlife, it just doesn't seem to be nearly as much of a garden. ~ John
     20. My garden treasure this year would be my very own home-made - mosaic bird bath.   I made this from terra cotta pots, broken dishes, broken tiles, and pieces of shells collected by my kids.  It's beautiful and sentimental.  Can't leave something behind like that can you? ~ GardenFairy
     21. The one treasure I could never leave behind is a snail made from a rock with a steel neck and head with little attenae. ~ Cindy
     22. My most treasured non-plant item I have in my garden are two octagonal stepping stones that my husband and I received as Mother's Day/Father's Day gifts from our two grandchildren, Joshua and Jillian, last year when they were three and one years respectively.  Created with their mother's help, the stepping stones are embedded around the inside edges with little stones that they have painted different colours and have their names (one on each stone) and the date with Josh's handprints on one and Jill's footprints on the other. We just love them and they have a prominent special place in our front garden.
    ~ Lalita
     23. If I moved, I wouldn't want to part with the giant (metal) mosquito that hangs from the huge maple tree in our backyard.  "Skeetie" was the first garden ornament we acquired as novices even before we finished putting in our first garden.  The garden has changed quite a bit over the last five years since then, but the mosquito has hung there faithfully ever since. ~ Carrie
     24. A wooden trough, which we stole from a friend´s farm house. It is 2m long, it was carved from a dead tree trunk, but it is very light, and full of bugs, and we use it to plant bromelias and orchids. It is the most beautiful vase I have ever seen. ~ Stella
     25. Two things - both made and presented to my garden by friends. A welcome sign with a portrait of my beloved cat, Tom, which guards his ashes. And a wonderful stepping stone. ~ Laurel
     26. My wife, Eugènie, (she is ALWAYS in the garden). I wouldn't leave her behind because her other favorite pastime is cooking!! ~ Alan
     27. A cement cat that I got from a neighbours estate sale. ~ Vicki
     28. In my garden, I only have a few things that I would need. My stepping stone, my solar Japanese lantern, and my rusted sundial. I am still working on getting some more garden art :-) ~ Lisa
     29. Not in the garden, but at the "farm" -- a plot of mostly rock that I'm working on turning into an orchard: our old bathroom sink, resting on hollow tile blocks so far, but getting used each time I wash my hands there. When I finally get a shed I'll fix the faucet (washers) and install it. ~ Maren
     30. In my garden is Big Larry's Wishing Well. This well was in my parents yard and upon their death, it arrived in my yard, as a surprise from my husband. I burst into tears upon seeing it, as it was my dad's. This year it will be the center display at our 110th birthday party. People will be able to make a wish and drop a coin in and the money will go to a local charity. Dad always liked a good party!! ~ Sue
     31. My 100+ faux frogs, lizards & snakes.  I buy the most life-like ones available and tuck them around my tropical jungle area.  When anyone visits I tell them they are welcome to move the critters around anywhere they like as long as they're not hidden under a rock or something.  Adults as well as kids get a huge kick out of doing this, and for me it's almost as if the animals are alive 'cause I never know where they'll turn up next! ~ Susi
     32. The ONE non-plant item that, should I ever move, I could never leave behind . . . is my life-size schnauzer statue! It is the mascot for our home, since we own four miniature schnauzers!!! It kind of sets the tone for visitors entering my gardens... they are forewarned what to expect -- 16 happy (more than likely wet and dirty) paws to jump up and greet them!! ~ Sheila
     33. I will have a difficult time leaving behind my two hummingbirds that fight over my feeder! ~ Deb
     34. My most treasured items in my garden are my two children. They make my garden the special place that it is. Also, our two cats who have final say if a new plant stays or goes. Plants are fine but the kids and the cats make it a garden. ~ Ellen
     35. I love gazing balls.  But I live in Colorado.  If I got a glass one it wouldn't last a month with the hail.  The metal ones are just too hard on my wallet.  So . . . brilliant idea.  What looks like a gazing ball, is cheap, and almost indestructable?  Bowling balls.  I got a red one.  It has kind of a swirlie pattern in it.  I set it out in the front yard, and it's wonderful.  Then I went to Goodwill and found 5 more!  Orange, silver, green, blue, and purple - $.99 each!  They're all in the front yard.  Some have names on them.  Norma is Blue and Nancy is Orange.  I love sitting inside and watching people look at them.  Everyone kind of tilts their head to one side and stares.  They can't quite figure it out.  I'll definitely take them with me if I ever move. ~ Erica
     36. Some of my treasures would include a crane made of wrought iron and rocks, my small stone bunny which hides under the ligularia, and my gargoyle named Doyle who lives by the pond.  I would also take my garden lights which my daughter gave me, and my bird baths.  These would be my most precious things to take from the garden. ~ Roseanne
     37. I would have to say I could not leave behind any arbours or other structures my spouse built for me. I consider them one thing because the are all made of wood. I'm sure all my nagging got them built and I'd still have to torture him by digging them out to take away with us, I don't consider it torture because I love all of them but for him it would be all the hard work to move them. ~ Norma
     38. A large,cement ornament of a drunk holding a jug who looks remarkably like a deceased friend of mine whose memory I cherish. We call him Murray. We've had him for twenty years and I just painted him. We keep him wrapped in the garage in the winter. ~ Corey
     39. My Hummingbird support rod, hook and feeder. ~ Lynda
     40. An old antique oil can that I found in a ditch in the country, while walking the dog.  Scraped off the rust, a bit of paint and colored tape, a few pretty plants in it and everyone wants to know where I got it. ~ Joan
     41. My rubber frog "Charming" who presides on the edge of the bird bath.  He has a complete wardrobe of crowns for any occasion. ~ Ruth
     42. I couldn't leave behind my martin house and all my hummingbird feeders,  they add lfe and action to my garden, and watching the hummers is one of the things that make me feel close to my Nana and Papa, (my grandmother and grandfather) who faithfully fed,watered and watched with delight the birds and squirrels in their garden for as long as I can recall. ~ Pamela
     43. I would never leave behind my children who help me garden and are ever bringing home new plants to try, and, of course, our plastic bug collection.  You never know which plant they will appear in. I'm sure the fairies move them around. ~ Shelley
     44. Of course my stone angel and my garden sayings that are all on beautiful stones! ~ Shonna Lee
     45. I couldn't leave behind my martin house and all my hummingbird feeders. They add life and action to my garden, and watching the hummers is one of the things that make me feel close to my Nana and Papa (my grandmother and grandfather) who, for as long as I can recall, faithfully fed, watered, and watched with delight the birds and squirrels in their garden . ~ Pamela
     46. I am a person that has many things going on simultaneously. And I have a problem with putting away something before I start with the next. As people come and see my garden I can see that they see those things that I don't see. I have developed a way of overlooking rubbish in a corner or empty pots laying around or hoses in a heap because something else took me away . . . Even if I tried I probably never will be able to get rid of those "things" as they are part of my way of doing things . . . sadly my husband (or happily) is exactly the same sort! So old bikes, Dodgevans and surfingboards and other maybe useful if you fix them things ALSO is a companion to my roses and poppies. So even if I wanted to move from them I am sure they will pop up in my next garden;-)
    ~ Ulrika
     47. Two items come to mind, one is a multiple . . . I have 12 children currently, soon to become 15 as our adoptions complete this family of seven siblings we are addding to ours . . . and  my beehives!! So we can have honey! and pollination! The children love to garden! ~ Jo
     48. I could never leave behind my rocks that I've collected during my adventures. Rocks from five different states, and from all around Ontario. Most of them are grand beauties, some are huge working stepping stones but treasured all the same. They all have a happy fun time story to tell when ever I stop, look, and remember the year I brought each one home. ~ Barb
     49. I would not move without my rather large piece of black volcanic rock (basalt) collected (by my son and his "body builder" friend) from a mesa near my previous home.  On moving day, after a full day of loading our belongings on a van, I made one last request, delivered as apologetically as possible, to the truck driver -- could he please bring my favorite rock!? After enduring a scowl and a grumble, I withdrew my request and sadly moved away.  To my surprise, the rock was unloaded at our present home and occupies a favored place in my rose garden!  I'll never move without it, provided I can find "a few good men" to load it! ~ Carolyn
     50. I have drift wood for bordering my gardens from the Gulf coast where I lived up until 2 1/2 years ago. I would walk to the bay and drag these logs home one at a time (no junk car at the time), so now I dragged them to Fla.'s East Coast . . . some are rather small, like your arm, while others are well over 6 ft. long and very heavy -- great borders! One is actually in my turtle bowl for him to sun on. ~ Magi
     51. A little four inch square terracotta tile based on an ancient Roman design with the words "Carpe Diem". My Aunt brought it back for me from her trip to England and though I have never had the nerve to put it outside I carry it to every place I live. ~ Kim
     52. Chimney inserts, the orange ceramic ovally rectangles that they put at the top of a chimney insert.  Great for colour contrast in your garden or on a step. ~ Kim
     53. One day, while eating at our favorite Mexican resturant, my wife commented on how cute the waiter was.  She said I could have him delivered home. The next day I found a cement "Mexican" statue complete with sombrero, cast in a sitting position as if his head was on his knees, asleep, thrown away in the dumpster.  I retrieved her "Mexican" and brought him home and placed him under the Crepe Myrtle trees and told her I had brought her lil Mexican home for her. ~ Kieth
     54. Hmm, please pray I do not have to move anytime soon :). I've just gotten my very own garden after wishing and dreaming for a very long time. My dad is in his 70's and has taken up crafting garden furniture. Even before I got my garden he made me a beautiful pair of adriondack chairs with stools and wooden sliding style swing with table between the benches (really old fashioned style), a couple of planters and a bird house. I've been busy sanding and varnishing these items so they remain protected to pass down to my daughter some day when she gets her own garden. Of course by then I hope the wooden surfaces will be very well weathered and "softened" by the use of family, friends and aquaintences stopping by for a bit of relaxation and companionship. Including the wee birds, bunnies and snails that currently share the garden with me! ~ Brenda
    55. A large stone from my uncle's farmhouse chimney.  It is flat on top and makes a nice plant stand!  Very unusual and makes everyone who visits my garden ask "what's that?"  ~ Melissa
     56. I have several treasures in my gardens from turtles to an antique kitchen scale. I have copper flowers, a copper ship, brass bowl. Large shell casings from bombs and many more you have to take the time to discover and of course that is the idea. ~ Gayle
     57. I would never leave behind my birdfeeder or the tall metal pole it is hung on. My birdfeeder is one of those specially designed types that have a long overhanging roof to keep the seed dry. It has a divider so at least 2 kinds of seeds can be used at a time. It is also made of cedar which gives it durability and a pleasant aroma. ~ Gillian
     58. Official Vancouver Indy tires . . . now sprouting official non-Indy potatoes, a very rusty, almost nonrecognizable newspaper winder for winding newspaper into "logs", sitting amoungst the Dahlias to scare away . . . the slugs(?), a collection of rusty cross saws,  rusty metal advertising signs, a rusty "hand seeder" and assorted unrecognizabel pieces of rust. ~ Sharon
     
     
     

    See entries from previous contests  here 

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