What a Difference a Year Makes - Judi Poll

You may have read my article "How Do You Manage with One?". Well, this year we got the second lesson in what I expect will be a series! At that time we had just finished with the summer visit of our 5 year old Belorussian girl, Kristina. We, of course, wanted to bring her back again this summer but due to a tightening of the restrictions by the fund organization in Belarus, Kristina was not allowed to come this year. This was very sad news for us.

Due to Ross being home this summer, Oksana spent a lot of time 'talking' with him. He learned many things about her, her family and Belarus that we were unable to learn from Kristina. Oksana was a typical teenager though. I found her to be somewhat particular about the clothing she was offered. Items I thought were attractive and would look smart on her she seemed to dislike. Other items I'd pass over, she decided she wanted. In telling my girlfriend, she laughed and said "Welcome to the now-I've-got-a-teenager-and-what-am-I-going-to-do club!"

Oksana was very bright. We asked her if she understood why we brought her to Canada. She said, "Chernobyl?" but she wasn't sure what that really meant. We explained to her that many children in other countries required help but because of the 'sickness' of Chernobyl, we had chosen to help children from Belarus. After hand charades, some broken English, and some attempted French we believe she understood. And we realized how quickly she learned when I had a conversation with her about voicing our opinions.

I had made a comment about one of our politicians. (Whether I vote for or against a politician, I feel I have the right to complain about him - so long as I voted.) Oksana looked at me strangely - and I realized it was a perfect opportunity to show her a difference of our respective countries.

"In Canada and in Belarus, we each have a government."

She nodded.

"In Belarus, you shouldn't speak against the government?"

She understood right away and shook her head vigourously and said "NO!"

I asked, "You are in trouble, it is wrong to speak against the government?"

"Yes!" Oksana said.

"Canada is different. In Canada, I can speak against our government or criticize our politicians and I am not in trouble. It is called freedom of speech."

Oksana seemed amazed by this. "Not bad?" she asked.

"Not in Canada," I told her.

That was essentially the end of the conversation on free speech but after that she would ask more questions about Canada.

We were always careful never to put Belarus down. If a question came up as to why Canada seemed rich, we explained it was because Canada had more opportunity than Belarus. We told her Belarus would have been a strong, healthy country too, if not for the Chernobyl accident.

As the end of her visit drew closer, Oksana dreaded going home. She was devastated because she believed Canada was better than Belarus. Again we tried to explain that there was more choice here. It took a while to explain when we bring children to visit we hope they might learn from Canada and return to create a Belarus with the strength and knowledge of everything they've learned from both worlds. We encouraged her that by being a good student and working hard to achieve her education, she will have the key to her own future.

And though there were tears from all 3 of us when we had to say good-bye, there was more going home with this child than clothes and gifts and vitamins. There was some resolve and determination too. Not enough to make her defiant but enough to give her a purpose in life. And by helping to set her on a path to her purpose, we realize that we've found part of our purpose!